Florida Dogs – Love Affair with Poverty



Florida Dogs
In Florida dogs are everywhere. When you live in a specific area long enough, the idiosyncrasies and often overlooked hidden and annoying elements will start to rear it’s ugly head. Florida in general is one of those places where there is quite an abundance of senseless idiocy that the indigenous folks engage in.  After all, southwest Florida is not exactly a haven for one to actively pursue cultural or cerebral endeavors.

Regardless, there are moments when your brain does that proverbial double take, especially when considering the gravity of whatever it is that disturbs your inner peace at that particular moment. In this instance, most transplants and snowbirds understand Florida is a state of humongous physical girth, biblical conformist nonsense psycho-babble and dogs. They are everywhere. People here love them more than other humans. There is even some degenerate obese hag of a woman in my gated community (FEMA Camp) who dresses her ugly pooch in the absolutely worse Godawful poofter outfit, proudly pulling the pudgy bastard in a red Christmas-like cart around the community. Trust me, this one deserves pictures. Stay tuned.

Anyway, there is literally a Pet Smart in every fucking outdoor strip mall. This is bewildering. People here have no money to fix their teeth or attend to personal hygiene, yet they rabidly smoke cigarettes and adopt as many dogs or pets in general as humanly possible. As a result when economic situations turn sour, they are the first to dump man’s best friend. Hypocritical if you ask me. This economic disparity expressed through action and reaction perpetuates this love/hate paradigm with rednecks and animals. Hence, the overabundance in pet emporiums throughout the state. You would think public libraries and bookstores would be the better choice. Sorry, not in these parts. Perish the thought. Can’t have an educated population and religion mixing to create critical thinking and dare I say, non-conformist actions.

Speaking of insanity, I visited one of these pet sanitariums prior to Halloween. I like cats. Many here go unwanted and the sob stories that are attached to each cat’s kennel can be quite amusing since they are rather UN-cleverly crafted by their dimwitted employees. Nevertheless, they do try and appeal to your emotional side with the over dramatic monologue. For instance, it can be quite common to read on some cat’s dossier, “Hi my name is cuddles. I was abandoned by my white trash family and left to fend among the scraps at a local trailer park. Even though the place was a section 8, I survived alone. I found enough food to survive, so please excuse my rather Auschwitz-like appearance. I am good with young children and of course,….fucking dogs. Please adopt me soon because I will love you long time.”

I captured this picture as this was my Florida double take moment for that day. Live here long enough and you will develop a passive immunity to the ludicrous or go secretly insane. However, one can assume that the reasons behind this may be rather disturbing considering the holiday in question. Needless to say, no explanation is required from my part. Think black cats, God’s country, mindless overzealous rednecks and pain.

Motherfuckers…..