Pizza Pizza – Shit Service, Shit Pizza

Pizza Pizza Canada? More like, shit pizza, shit service would be an appropriate title of this Zagat review. This is pizza on a Monday night when it’s last call on the boardwalk during the off-season and the Fun House has shut down. Bottom of the barrel, Red Baron & Celeste variety we are talking. This is pizza for those unfortunate souls who never tried the REAL New York city variety. Hence, Canadians in general have no idea what a real non-franchise, made by an Italian family in Da Bronx “be like”. Try visiting Queens, NY and go to Genesis pizza on Union Turnpike. Now that is pizza and the service is friendly and attentive.

I came to this Godawful place, ordered for what passed as pepperoni pizza and a bottle of water. No one except one couple was here which was foreboding in itself. This was an obvious hint. After I paid, I assumed the clerk would place the pizza in the oven to heat up. Nope, I waited and….had to get up and inquire after 10 minutes….where the fuck is my pizza? He was genuinely clueless and nervous. He simply forgot. Seriously. How in God’s name is that possible since no one else was ordering and the place was rightfully barren. When I first moved to the area, I went here on one other occasion and the guy burned the pizza because he actually forgot to take it out! Dumbass.

They have this “coffee coffee” sign on the window but they do NOT make or serve coffee?!! The stupid thing has been there for months. I once told a lady who worked here and I got a glazed clueless smile in return. High on maples leaves maybe. The sign is STILL there. You would think with all the free time, no customers someone would remove it. Btw, what is with the lack of creativity and ingenuity with the business name? Pizza Pizza now Coffee Coffee….ordering here you feel Stupid Stupid.
Pizza Pizza Canada

Anyway, before I ordered I had to wait for another customer who was trying to scramble for change to pay for his order. A large pie. I saw coins dropping from his hands, scattering all over the counter and several denied credit and debit cards before I was served. He had several receipts printed for one order. It seems he used every last available credit to cover this purchase which amounted to only 1 large pizza order. Another older lady after me walked in, inquired about the cost on 1 pizza slice – the cheapest, and left. No money. The poverty in this area is appalling. I see it on Montreal road, in the supermarket and now in this barren pizza joint. When you start seeing people unable to pay in cash for a pizza, shit just got real in a negative manner. The inherent passivity of Canadians is very apparent to anyone who has grown up in the US. I would say this docile manner is what perpetuates the stereotype of overt friendliness but at the same time there is an annoying acquiescence to every fucking thing from daily inconveniences like crap service to political incompetence . Sometimes you need to move your ass and live life within the boundaries of a New York friggin’ minute!

Pizza Pizza….fugetaboutit! Don’t be Stupid Stupid.

Incidentally, this review concerns the following business:

Pizza Pizza
320 McArthur Avenue
Ottawa, ON K1L 5G2
Phone number (613) 737-1111