Simple Mobile Review – Simply Shit!

Simple Mobile ReviewSimple Mobile review based on my personal experience. I am not a phone person. I actually despise this method of random communication and prefer face to face encounters. However, having mobile access with a suitable cell phone and plan is a must in this consumer laden day and age. Smart phones provide many useful features from GPS to bank access with mobile check deposits and updated traffic reports.

The problem arises when one is consistently bombarded by an assortment of choices, compounded by false advertising, unfair and unscrupulous fees or service charges as well as the proliferation of cheap con artist salesmen types.

Hate is too kind of a word to accurately describe the experience.

Needless to say when I had an issue with Simple Mobile over the SIMPLE procedure of porting over my number to their service, I was completely disgusted when this seemingly SIMPLE procedure was royally screwed up by one of their moronic outsourced automatons. I was given the incorrect procedure and my once NEW SIM was now utterly useless as it had been activated, thus locked to a new account which I did not need. The stupidity of their training was quickly evident when such a SIMPLE procedure was beyond the expertise of one of their employees. How could this idiot give me the wrong information? I called to actually verify prior to using their hideous website as well.

This lemming of a customer service agent explained that in order to port the phone number I was required to purchase a plan and receive a PIN. This was obviously incorrect because once I did this on their website, the service automatically assigned me a NEW number thus disabling the porting function. In addition it cost me $40 for the activation and plan for the month. Hence I was stuck with a new useless account with a new useless number which I did not need. Fucking IDIOT!

Simple Mobile Review

Once I realized the mistake, I made a second call back to customer service for verification of what transpired. After another short wait, lemming number 2 answered and verified the mistake, acknowledging the problem but could not rectify the situation. This dipshit was reading off some standard operating procedures policy which you could easily tell by his robotic unemotional drivel of apologies. Eventually I asked to speak with a supervisor which amounted to nothing as they essentially reiterated their useless policy of no refunds and being unable to port my former number.

In fact, I actually spoke with two supervisors. The first useless curmudgeon had such a terrible audio connection – I had a mental picture of her with a headset sitting in a cardbox in a shanty town in some SEA third world shitbox. I was dismayed by her nonchalant attitude and carefree dismissal of my concerns and problem. These dimwitted robotic employees provided me with the incorrect information, costing me the activation of my new SIM card, the failure to port my number and costing me the $40 activation of a now useless plan besides wasting my minutes on a prepaid temporary tracphone.

To exacerbate matters, the first numskull of a supervisor who was another outsourced peon, gave me more incorrect information stating I would get a refund for the plan activation. She transfered me to the next supervisor in billing I assume, who quickly reversed that decision, citing company policy of no refunds even when their mindless peons make mistakes costing customers and potential clients time and money.

My only recourse is to file a complaint with my bank credit card, disputing this charge for the activation plan. I for one am NOT going to pay for another typical American bullshit profit over people business model corporation whose primary concern is fucking over customers, while they absolve themselves and their employees of any errors.

Simple Mobile is SIMPLY SHIT!


I will change my official position, if Simple Mobile sends me a NEW SIM card, activated ported number, hand delivered by these two lovely representatives.

Simple Mobile Review

OH YES! I can fucking here YOU now!